Showing posts with label bolehland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bolehland. Show all posts

Friday, June 15, 2012

Story of Two Pandas

Year 2020: According to news report, two pandas from China will be on loan to Bolehland for 10 years for a sum of RM20m. Wow that's alot of buta money for China who is famous for eating exotic wildlife and animal cruelty. The report mentioned about the initiative by the 1Bolehland government to name the two young pandas. It was said that the name Altantuya and Bersih were selected by the public. A little bird was sent to China to eavesdrop the pandas. Their conversation here...

Altantuya: Bersih bro, do you know that we are going to Bolehland for a long holiday?

Bersih: Sis, how do you know?

Altantuya: I overheard Ah Jib discussing with Ah Mah. They said they will be coming to Bolehland too to take care of us.

Bersih: Sis Altantuya, I am very scarce to go to Bolehland because in Bolehland everything also can. Long time ago the Australia gave several kangaroos and they die after sometime in the Penang Botanic Gardens. There was a mini zoo in Penang Botanic Gardens and all the animals eventually die. So how huh? We are going to die in Bolehland?

Altantuya: Yeah I also heard that there are many zoos that don't really take care of the animals. Many of the animals were under fed and some even tortured. The primate zoo in Perlis was very bad, all the monkeys were so miserable and sad. But I think this time we only eat bamboo. As the workers don't eat bamboo mah so they can't curi our food hehehe...

Bersih: How to stay in Bolehland.... so hot?

Altantuya: Don't worry, we will be given air-cond room lah.

Bersih: What? Air-cond? I prefer fresh air than the suffy air.

Altantuya: Don't worry, we will be treated like king and queen. They paid RM20m for our long holiday and so i think they will take care of us!

Bersih: What? They want us to be King and Queen....want us to f**k to produce babies? How can lah? We are brother and sister only mah!

Altantuya: In Bolehland, everything also can. The rakyat in Bolehland said they don't need sex anymore because the government of Bolehland f**k them everyday!

Bersih: Wah, so syiok one! Quick, quick, i want to go Bolehland and get f**k everyday too!

Altantuya: Gatal ke?

------------news report below-----------

A plea for the Pandas
June 15, 2012
FMT LETTER: From Shenaaz Khan, via e-mail

China’s much publicised loaning of two Giant pandas to Malaysia is hardly an event to be received with rousing merriment. The exercise is in equal measure preposterous and superfluous and is unworthy of festive fireworks.

In an atmosphere of economic imbecility and political pandering, the Malaysian government has come up with the kind of inane idea that exemplifies its governing greatness. Their little reform agendas now include Giant pandas. Under the greedy guise of conservation, two Giant pandas are to bear the burden of bridging diplomatic ties between China and Malaysia.

How this is to be achieved is beyond baffling. But it yet again illustrates a blatant manifestation of Malaysia’s institutional pattern of exploiting animals to serve selfish human interests. To assume otherwise is grossly foolish.

Minister in Prime Minister’s Department Koh Tsu Koon has reportedly said that China’s gesture in lending a pair of pandas shows that it recognises Malaysia as a special country. Yes, Malaysia’s specialities include licensing countless zoos to abuse animals for human fortunes.

Malaysian zoos have for years abused and neglected their animals with complete legal immunity despite legislated codes of animal welfare clearly not being adhered to. Their registry of crimes include drugging tigers for photo taking sessions, forcing elephants to ride tricycles, cramping orangutans into runty cages and trafficking totally protected wildlife!

Zoos such as Taiping zoo, Danga Bay and A’Famosa, are fairly representative examples of these atrocious zoos and are in clear conflict of conservation. Nonetheless, the Malaysian government has habitually dedicated itself to ignoring and facilitating animal abuse as animal welfare and conservation have never been on the forefront of their political consciousness.

Hence, it is incredulous to imagine Malaysia being chosen for a conservation effort given its hideous track record. This whole panda loaning scheme has also made apparent the very deep pockets of the Malaysian government. While they feign financial frugality, they are ever ready to take on the colossal technical and architectural tasks necessary to house the pandas.

Malaysia’s decision to spend obscene amounts of money bringing in a non-native species for a decade long visit is further appalling given its complete and absolute disregard for its very own Malayan Sun bear. The Malayan sun bears are routinely orphaned and victimised by habitat loss from excessive logging, poaching for bear products and surging demand in the pet and zoo trade.

Amongst other conservation efforts, the 20 million ringgit could well be spent on saving the endangered Malayan Sun bear. Yet, the Malaysian government is not concerned in conserving them for they would serve no value to capital investments in China’s economic empire.

While I do not begrudge Malaysia the industrious opportunities China has to offer in trade and commerce, it is important to underscore here that China is the leading capital of animal abuse, illegal wildlife trade and wild meat consumption.

Across the world, elephant numbers are dwindling owing to China’s ruthless demand for ivory. China also remains the primary consumer of traditional Chinese medicine and wild meat, the two commodities driving the illegal wildlife trade and pushing many endangered species to near extinction.

And while China hands out pairs of pandas to various countries, their own horrific fur and bear bile farms kill, maim and brutalise bears every single day! Across China, bears are kept in cramped cages, their gall bladders implanted with metal catheters and their bodies clamped down with metal grilles to enable the extraction of their bile!

Their catalogue of abuses is endless! Therefore, like Stalin and Hitler advocating human rights, it is a complete travesty that the Malaysian and Chinese regimes should engage on conservation efforts given their respective reputations for animal cruelty.

Let us not be fooled by this farce! These pandas have been ripped from their homes, held hostage by their man masters and have now been pimped for profit! It is indeed a shameful day in Malaysian history as we have allowed pandas to be pawned for pungent political pursuits!

The writer is president of the Malaysian Animal Welfare Society
Source here

More stories here and here

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Boleh & Ta'Boleh

by Pipit

Two interesting articles caught my eye in the NST of 14 Sept.

1st - Thailand boleh! Tilapia fish skin can now be recycled to make handbags, shoes and even bikinis. A photo shows model wearing tilapia skin bikini.

2nd – Malaysia Ta’boleh! Malaysia has the honour of being the country with the only species to be declared extinct in 2007 so far. And not just Malaysia but good old Penang! The woolly-stalked begonia found only in Pulau Betong has not been sighted for the last 100 years inspite of extensive searches. And they are continuing to cut the forest to widen roads in Penang Hill! Sometimes Malaysia Boleh as well.



Reference : http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Friday/National/20070914083815/Article/index_html

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Death Notice

Something very disturbing really happened in Kiasuland. Let me reproduce it in total here:


Right in front of my house, a death notice has been stuck to a lovely mempat tree, Cratoxylum formosum. The tree has been given 7 days notice (from 20.07.07), after which it will become firewood. There is a hotline for people to phone in to get the reason for the death sentence. Have you ever try phoning a hotline? - press 1, 2, 3...

After three day I finally got a response. The reason for chopping the tree? The leaves are falling into the nearby house and the maid has to sweep them daily.

I also found out that this may be the wrong tree? Carrying out a sentence on the wrong person - I mean tree. Sounds familiar?

Now if every tree will be chopped down just because the leaves litter someone or other's garden, we would end up with thousands and thousands of plastic tree where the leaves will not shed.

What can I do? The deadline is getting near - 27th July 2007...

YC


I was comtemplating to go to Kiasuland one of this day. (BTW, I am from the northern state of Bolehland). Then I would opened my car's windows. Then would let the leaves dropped into my car. Then I would write a letter to have all of Kiasuland's trees chopped down because I have to sweep the leaves in my car! Ha ha ha! Imagine all of Kiasuland becoming "botak" he he he.... (pun intended!)

Luckily, a turnaround decision was made before the dateline. Read below:


Our grateful thanks to the enlightened NParks officers who read e-mails. Members of the public may be unreasonable in their demands. But NParks officer should not be cowed or bullied by unreasonable members of the public. The fact that wayside trees litter homes with their leaves is no reason to chop down trees, not even if the leaves find their way into swimming pools.
YC


Well, if the tree bears fruits, I think it will be of different story. That is the selfish nature of human everywhere - in Kiasuland as well as in Bolehland!

To learn more about YC, goto http://besgroup.talfrynature.com/

Monday, July 16, 2007

Bolehland : Manufacturer of Star Wars' characters

In 1996, Dolly (July 5, 1996 – February 14, 2003) the sheep was born. Eight years later she was euthanized because of a degenerative lung condition. According to some experts, Dolly may have been susceptible to premature aging.

In 2003, Texas A&M ended its four-year, $4 million effort with Genetic Savings and Clone of California to clone a dog. A dog proved too hard to clone, so A&M created cc instead. Lisa Archer, animal activist (spokeswoman for Friends of the Earth) said the potential rewards of cloning don't justify its risks. "Animal cloning has resulted in a lot of issues with deaths and deformities that have been the norm, not the exception". A study by A&M, released in 2002 documented a 94 percent failure rate in efforts to clone pigs. Twenty-eight piglets were born without an anus and tail, a fatal condition. (Source: http://www.theeagle.com/stories/062705/am_20050627004.php)

In Malaysia
It was reported that my Bolehland is launching a $9 million (RM31 Mil) project to try to clone some of its threatened leatherback turtles in a last-ditch bid to save them from extinction.

Cloning animals involves taking the nuclei of cells from adults and fusing them into other egg cells that are implanted into a surrogate mother.

We know that the successful rate of cloning is only 6% with high failure rate of maimed and deformed animals. Imagine the failure rate of cloning an easy domesticated species like the pigs were proven unsuccessful and yet Bolehland wanted to prove to the world we can do it with Leatherbacks!!

The money that is going to be spent should be used to carry out other conservation work that could help in the leatherback population.

I can predict that someone will be a millionaire. I can predict many unnecessary Green turtles (the initial guineapigs) and later Leatherbacks will be sacrified. I can predict more taxpayers' fund will be lost. What a waste!

Perhaps we have other plan. A plan that can make Bolehland the greatest manufacturer of Star Wars' characters in 2020. Never mind about the consequences.

Tarfful, Daultay Dofine, Tsui Choi, Roron Corobb, Kai Hudorra, Plo Koon, Pablo-Jill, Even Piell, Yarael Poof, Oppo Rancisis and Coleman Trebor were some of the Star Wars' characters that will be a reality in 2020! Malaysia Boleh!

"Let nature takes its course".


References:
http://www.enn.com/sci.html?id=953
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_the_sheep

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Is Your Neighbour Missing?

Have you seen a pangolin in your backyard some weeks ago? Your dog could be barking at it in the middle of the night. And you would have been happy to see one....but you were angry because you loose your sleep. And today your friendly neighbour is no where to be seen? Well, your pet dog will have to spend more lonely nights.

Probably, your neighbourly pangolin could be on that "Noah's Ark" heading for China.

This story really frightened me:


'Noah's Ark' of 5,000 rare animals found floating off the coast of China




I am a Chinese. Believe me, Chineses eat everything that moves!

But not me! Oh, forgot to tell you, I am not from China.



If you find that the common animals like lizards, turtles, tortoises, snakes, bears, pangolins and others missing from your compound, your estates, the forests, then chances that they could be caught and smugglered out of Bolehland!



In Bolehland, rules can be bent. Eyes can "tutup satu mata" (close one eye). "Bocor" (Leakage) can be fixed with taxpayers money. And the story continues...



Coastguard : Ok, pangolins, cicakman (lizard man), ninja turtles and you look funny(some kind of civet cat which the coastguard haven't seen)...give me your passports!!


Pangolin : Sorry, official....I..I...don't have passport.


Coastguard : What? No, passport, no entry. Go home!


Pangolin : But I was forced to come, mah! I live happily in one of the kampung (village) and I played with my neighbour dog. I missed the dog now. Can I go home?


Coastguard : No way. Who dare to own you? You look so ugly with all the scales. I guess you taste good too. Aprodisiac huh? Yum..yum.... Ok tell me how you come here!


Pangolin : I was caught one night by a man who spoke some kind of foreign language. Then I was taken to a "towkay" (business man). Then this towkay put me in a case with others like me.


Coastguard : What do you mean "others like you"?


Pangolin : Others animals loh....like that cicakman, that turtle ninja and my brother from that Kampung Babi Hutan.


Coastguard : Don't you have stringent custom regulation in your country to check on your passport?


Pangolin : Got, got, many, but just for show only lah. Remember, we are Bolehland. "Boleh" meant "Can"....so everything also "can".


Coastguard : Don't play-play with me! What do you meant "everything also can"?


Pangolin : You see, without passport I can also come here...so don't you think I slipped out of my country with somebody "tutup satu mata"?


Coastguard : Oh, I see....good, then I can "makan" (eat) you tonight. Nobody can claim you are from Bolehland as you don't have passport. Hee, hee, hee....!



Conclusion:


The coastguard had a good meal. You lost a friendly neighbour. Your neighbourhood is quieter now. You can sleep well. Some towkays were richer by a few hundred dollars. Your grand children will only able to see pangolins in books.



Is that what you want?